Make Your Own Humor Article!


Illustration by Kimberly Auran.

Whitman College was shocked today by news of a(n) (adjective) ________ scandal involving a(n) (adjective) _________ (noun) _________. (your favorite professor)__________, (adjective)________ member of the (noun)________ department, is embroiled in a(n) (adjective) ________ conspiracy about (plural noun)________.

The (adjective)________ debacle is over the use of funds for (noun)________. Instead of (adverb)________ the money appropriately, they bought (plural noun)________ and hid them inside a (noun)________ in (building on campus) ________.

The culprit said, “This is all a bunch of (noun) ________, utter (animal)________ – (bodily substance)________. I never did such a(n) (adjective)________ thing!”

Students are torn about the news. One said “They should not have (past tense verb)________ those (plural noun)________, however (adverb)________ those (plural noun) ________ was justified.”

In an announcement, President Kathy Murray wrote, “Dear (plural noun)________ and faculty, I am (adjective)________ by this outrageous (noun)________. I promise I will do everything in my power to prevent such (adjective)________ acts from happening again.”

A committee composed of (person to your right)________, (your least favorite professor )________, and (your favorite Wire writer)________ has been formed to (verb)________ the issue. A meeting is scheduled for (due date of assignment you’re putting off)________ at (statue on campus)________ to decide what must be done.

Whatever happens, nobody will forget their (noun)________ upon hearing the news. “When I found out,” said (your next-door neighbor) ________, “I turned bright (color of the nearest duck)________, (verb) ________ from my (noun) ________ and shouted “(exclamation) ________”!”

 

Source: Whitman Wire